It
seems this post is a little later than I wanted it to be. Better late
than never right?
Every
time someone finds out we're adopting from China, there is obviously
excitement and curiosity. So we get questions all the time...and
honestly, we don't mind the questions. A while back I asked yall (via
facebook) what questions you had about Austin or adoption or us
adopting Austin. And you ALL had some great questions. So here is my
attempt at answering them!
--When
is he coming home?!?
not
soon enough!! We are praying for travel sometime between September
and November, but lets be honest...we're at the mercy of 2
governments. lol I keep telling myself "it's all in His
timing!"
--How
long did the entire process take? And how was the process different
from Mary's?
Well,
we started in late October and they estimate it taking (on average)
between 8-14 months. BUT that honestly depends on what gender, age
and special needs you are open to. The wait will be longer for a girl
as young as possible with minimal special needs. A boy with the same
special needs may be looked over by so many families. But that's a
post for another day.
The
process is VERY different from Mary's. Mary's adoption was a
domestic, private adoption. We didn't have to do extensive amounts of
paperwork. We had a background check, fingerprints and signed some
papers. We only had to answer to an attorney.
--What's his middle name and did anything special inspire you?
His
middle name is actually Austin :) We're keeping his Chinese name as
his first name. Why not keep that as his middle name, you ask?
Because he will be the 4th generation first born in Josh's family
with Austin as the middle name. It just makes sense :) He's our first
born son, therefore, Austin is his middle name!
--Does Mary understand that being a big sister is a huge responsibility?
I
think she does. I'm sure there is a LOT that will be a learning curve
for her, but she's amazing with smaller kids. Really, she is.
--What is his special need {SN} (if it's not too personal)?
He
has a few needs, but the biggest one is bilateral clubfeet. Bilateral
just means both, instead of one leg/foot. He was very blessed to be
found by a non-profit advocating agency (more on this in the next
blog post!!!) who brought him into their care in their orphanage /
foster home and casted his legs and feet so that he could learn to
walk! How awesome is that?! We'll still need to go get checkups with
a specialist about this and have him remeasured for new braces as I'm
sure he's outgrown his current ones.
There
is another need that is listed in his paperwork. It's a crazy scary
big word...that when you google them will scare you. "Suspected
Thymoma in Mediastinum". But, here's the deal. It was found
years ago during some xrays for something else totally unrelated. The
basics are this: it could be bad, it could be gone, it could be
nothing at all. We'll do an xray when he gets home. But here's what
we are asking: Please pray with us that God has already healed this
and it's a non-issue. I'm pretty sure God has taken care of it
already, but would appreciate you praying over this specifically for
us.
--Does he know English?
He
knows a little. Not a lot from what I can understand. But we aren't
worried about it. Honestly. We'll be trying to learn a few things in
Mandarin to help ease the transition and as he's prepared for us, he
may be taught a little more English to help him. We've already been
researching specifics (books, tapes, dvds, apps) that we will be
using too.
--How old is sweet Austin and when do you think you'll get the green light to go get him?
Our
boy is 4.5...just 5 months younger than his big sister :)
We
should hear something in August as to when we can travel to get him,
but we are specifically praying for September or October.
--When do we get to buy shirts?????
Someone
just read that and thought "shirts, what shirts?". We have
an awesome friend that is designing an awesome design for us to print
on a shirt for a fundraiser. We are thinking sometime June to August,
but I REALLY think we might do this in the month of July to celebrate
his birthday and bringing him home!
--Will Mary be going with you guys to bring him home?
She
sure will. Some people have mixed feelings about this (and have
expressed those to us), but here's the deal: she's a part of the
process. Why would she not be included in going and bringing him
home? (clearly, if we had more children, this would not be an option,
but for the three of us right now, it is). We feel that it will help
her transition into sister role and help him transition to not feel
out of place with us. Imagine....leaving everything you've ever known
to be given to a strange couple you've only seen photos of and then
go spend 2 weeks with them in a hotel before you are takien on a
plane across the world. Yep. I think Mary being with us will help
him. Plus, he's used to being around kids! Yay!
--Has he ever heard of Jesus?
I
really don't know. I'd like to think he has, but more than likely he
has not. This is one of the coolest parts of the process. We are SO
EXCITED to bring him home and tell him and let him get plugged into
kids church! Imagine all of the awesome things he will be learning
about our Savior! {tears. I can't wait to see the look on his face
when he learns about our Jesus and what Jesus did for him. yes,
tears}
--How are the conditions he is living in until he comes home?
I
don't know a lot. Which is typical of international adoption and why
faith is a huge part of it. But I know he's in a foster home and not
an orphanage. He was living in an orphanage last year and
transitioned well into a foster home. I'm so thankful for this
because this allows him to see what the family dynamics are all
about! (again, he's very blessed to have been taken care of through
the nonprofit advocating agency I'll be talking about in the next
post!)
--Does the facility show him photos of his mom, dad & sister and explain to him he will meet you soon?
Not
yet. We have to get a special piece of paper from China first. This
paper is called LOA (letter of acceptance to adopt him specifically).
Once we have this, the advocating agency he's being cared for by will
tell him...and at that time he will receive some care packages from
us!!!
--Can we pray for something specific? (any fears or nerves)?
oh
yes. there's a list. lol more to come on that very soon, but for
right now, God knows all of the specifics, so please just pray for
paperwork to go smoothly and quickly, Austin, us and Mary and the
funding that God is providing!
--Is Austin set in stone? With that I mean can yall get all the way to China and end up with another kid?
yes
and no. haha. that was no help, was it? He is not "set in stone"
for us. however, China will lock his file for us specifically. The
ONLY way right now for us to lose him is if our documents don't make
it by August. But God is awesome and we are on track to have them
there at the beginning of June :)
Now,
for that other part. No, we will not get to China and end up with
another child. This use to happen in several countries, but thank you
to the Hague convention, this no longer happens. This is protecting
families and kids.
--Why China? Why not a different country to adopt from?
The
easiest answer: because that's where our son is! Ryan has always
wanted to adopt from an China or Korea since she was much younger.
Josh needed a little bit more of a push. We knew we would start later
in 2014 or 2015, but I (Ryan) saw Austin's photo on September 16 and
knew immediately that he was her son! Josh knew about a month later.
I know that sounds weird, but it's just like when two people know
immediately that they were meant to be married. We knew he was our
son!
--Do yall get more personal info about Austin (e.g. size, height, things he likes or is allergic to) to be able to prepare for his homecoming?
We
get a little bit, but not much to be honest. Sometimes after a family
receive LOA, the family is allowed to ask a few questions that would
act as an update. So we're hoping that we get to do that...but that
doesn't always happen.
--How does Josh feel in all of this? We get to read a lot of what you post, but Josh is quieter than you and I know it's a personal thing/choice, but I would love to read a little blog post written by him to get to how he's handling/experiencing the journey to his new son.
He's
VERY excited. and VERY nervous and anxious and worried, but
completely faithful. :) I'm going to ask him if he'll make a
special appearance on our blog. OUR blog. lol
--Does
Austin have any brothers or sisters?
He
has several foster brothers and sisters, but no biological ones that
we know of. It's extremely rare in international adoptions (mainly
China) that you are able to adopt siblings. However, there are
several countries that you can adopt sibling groups from. The only
time this comes up in Chinese adoptions is if it's a rare case that
involves twins.
--What part of China is he from?
He
is in southwest China. (I'm honestly not sure if we can say publicly
which province he's located in!)
--Do you know why he was put up for adoption? If this is not too personal.
First,
in most cases, this would be considered a personal question. But I'm
still going to answer it. The correct term to use is "chosen for
adoption" or the birth mother "made an adoption plan"
or "chose adoption". This is the more positive terms used
now for adoption. (We learned this several years ago when we went for
a class with an agency, pre-Mary).
When
it comes to Chinese waiting children, most are people say
"abandoned". I hate that word. Want to know why? According
to the definition, it means "careless disregard for
consequences". I don't think that's what happens at all. These
moms know fully well what they are doing. And I DO NOT mean that in a
bad way. What they are doing is giving their child a chance at life.
See, the average income over there is about $500 and there is no help
for medical expenses. You also pay for all medical procedures up
front. If you can't afford it, you don't receive treatment. End
of story. So when a child is born with an obvious disability or birth
defect, most have no way to treat this for the child to live. So they
will strategically leave the children where they will be found:
police stations, hospitals, orphanage steps, fire stations. The moms
know that by doing this, they are giving their children a chance at
life. They will be found and given treatment.
I'm
sure there are more reasons why a mother chooses this for her child,
just like here in the US. Our job is not to judge. Our job is to pray
for them and ask for peace for them.
So I hope that helped answer some of your questions. If you have more, you know where to find us!
