questions

It seems this post is a little later than I wanted it to be. Better late than never right?

Every time someone finds out we're adopting from China, there is obviously excitement and curiosity. So we get questions all the time...and honestly, we don't mind the questions. A while back I asked yall (via facebook) what questions you had about Austin or adoption or us adopting Austin. And you ALL had some great questions. So here is my attempt at answering them!

--When is he coming home?!?

          not soon enough!! We are praying for travel sometime between September and November, but lets be honest...we're at the mercy of 2 governments. lol I keep telling myself "it's all in His timing!" 

--How long did the entire process take? And how was the process different from Mary's?

           Well, we started in late October and they estimate it taking (on average) between 8-14 months. BUT that honestly depends on what gender, age and special needs you are open to. The wait will be longer for a girl as young as possible with minimal special needs. A boy with the same special needs may be looked over by so many families. But that's a post for another day. 

           The process is VERY different from Mary's. Mary's adoption was a domestic, private adoption. We didn't have to do extensive amounts of paperwork. We had a background check, fingerprints and signed some papers. We only had to answer to an attorney. 

--What's his middle name and did anything special inspire you?

           His middle name is actually Austin :) We're keeping his Chinese name as his first name. Why not keep that as his middle name, you ask? Because he will be the 4th generation first born in Josh's family with Austin as the middle name. It just makes sense :) He's our first born son, therefore, Austin is his middle name! 

--Does Mary understand that being a big sister is a huge responsibility?

            I think she does. I'm sure there is a LOT that will be a learning curve for her, but she's amazing with smaller kids. Really, she is. 

--What is his special need {SN} (if it's not too personal)?

            He has a few needs, but the biggest one is bilateral clubfeet. Bilateral just means both, instead of one leg/foot. He was very blessed to be found by a non-profit advocating agency (more on this in the next blog post!!!) who brought him into their care in their orphanage / foster home and casted his legs and feet so that he could learn to walk! How awesome is that?! We'll still need to go get checkups with a specialist about this and have him remeasured for new braces as I'm sure he's outgrown his current ones. 

            There is another need that is listed in his paperwork. It's a crazy scary big word...that when you google them will scare you. "Suspected Thymoma in Mediastinum". But, here's the deal. It was found years ago during some xrays for something else totally unrelated. The basics are this: it could be bad, it could be gone, it could be nothing at all. We'll do an xray when he gets home. But here's what we are asking: Please pray with us that God has already healed this and it's a non-issue. I'm pretty sure God has taken care of it already, but would appreciate you praying over this specifically for us. 

--Does he know English?

             He knows a little. Not a lot from what I can understand. But we aren't worried about it. Honestly. We'll be trying to learn a few things in Mandarin to help ease the transition and as he's prepared for us, he may be taught a little more English to help him. We've already been researching specifics (books, tapes, dvds, apps) that we will be using too. 

--How old is sweet Austin and when do you think you'll get the green light to go get him?

              Our boy is 4.5...just 5 months younger than his big sister :) 

We should hear something in August as to when we can travel to get him, but we are specifically praying for September or October.

--When do we get to buy shirts?????

               Someone just read that and thought "shirts, what shirts?". We have an awesome friend that is designing an awesome design for us to print on a shirt for a fundraiser. We are thinking sometime June to August, but I REALLY think we might do this in the month of July to celebrate his birthday and bringing him home!

--Will Mary be going with you guys to bring him home?    

               She sure will. Some people have mixed feelings about this (and have expressed those to us), but here's the deal: she's a part of the process. Why would she not be included in going and bringing him home? (clearly, if we had more children, this would not be an option, but for the three of us right now, it is). We feel that it will help her transition into sister role and help him transition to not feel out of place with us. Imagine....leaving everything you've ever known to be given to a strange couple you've only seen photos of and then go spend 2 weeks with them in a hotel before you are takien on a plane across the world. Yep. I think Mary being with us will help him. Plus, he's used to being around kids! Yay!

--Has he ever heard of Jesus?

             I really don't know. I'd like to think he has, but more than likely he has not. This is one of the coolest parts of the process. We are SO EXCITED to bring him home and tell him and let him get plugged into kids church! Imagine all of the awesome things he will be learning about our Savior! {tears. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he learns about our Jesus and what Jesus did for him. yes, tears}

--How are the conditions he is living in until he comes home?

             I don't know a lot. Which is typical of international adoption and why faith is a huge part of it. But I know he's in a foster home and not an orphanage. He was living in an orphanage last year and transitioned well into a foster home. I'm so thankful for this because this allows him to see what the family dynamics are all about! (again, he's very blessed to have been taken care of through the nonprofit advocating agency I'll be talking about in the next post!)

--Does the facility show him photos of his mom, dad & sister and explain to him he will meet you soon?

              Not yet. We have to get a special piece of paper from China first. This paper is called LOA (letter of acceptance to adopt him specifically). Once we have this, the advocating agency he's being cared for by will tell him...and at that time he will receive some care packages from us!!!

--Can we pray for something specific? (any fears or nerves)?

              oh yes. there's a list. lol more to come on that very soon, but for right now, God knows all of the specifics, so please just pray for paperwork to go smoothly and quickly, Austin, us and Mary and the funding that God is providing!

--Is Austin set in stone? With that I mean can yall get all the way to China and end up with another kid?

               yes and no. haha. that was no help, was it? He is not "set in stone" for us. however, China will lock his file for us specifically. The ONLY way right now for us to lose him is if our documents don't make it by August. But God is awesome and we are on track to have them there at the beginning of June :) 

               Now, for that other part. No, we will not get to China and end up with another child. This use to happen in several countries, but thank you to the Hague convention, this no longer happens. This is protecting families and kids. 

--Why China? Why not a different country to adopt from?

               The easiest answer: because that's where our son is! Ryan has always wanted to adopt from an China or Korea since she was much younger. Josh needed a little bit more of a push. We knew we would start later in 2014 or 2015, but I (Ryan) saw Austin's photo on September 16 and knew immediately that he was her son! Josh knew about a month later. I know that sounds weird, but it's just like when two people know immediately that they were meant to be married. We knew he was our son!

--Do yall get more personal info about Austin (e.g. size, height, things he likes or is allergic to) to be able to prepare for his homecoming?

              We get a little bit, but not much to be honest. Sometimes after a family receive LOA, the family is allowed to ask a few questions that would act as an update. So we're hoping that we get to do that...but that doesn't always happen. 

--How does Josh feel in all of this? We get to read a lot of what you post, but Josh is quieter than you and I know it's a personal thing/choice, but I would love to read a little blog post written by him to get to how he's handling/experiencing the journey to his new son. 

              He's VERY excited. and VERY nervous and anxious and worried, but completely faithful. :)  I'm going to ask him if he'll make a special appearance on our blog. OUR blog. lol 

                

--Does Austin have any brothers or sisters?

             He has several foster brothers and sisters, but no biological ones that we know of. It's extremely rare in international adoptions (mainly China) that you are able to adopt siblings. However, there are several countries that you can adopt sibling groups from. The only time this comes up in Chinese adoptions is if it's a rare case that involves twins.    

--What part of China is he from?

              He is in southwest China. (I'm honestly not sure if we can say publicly which province he's located in!)

--Do you know why he was put up for adoption? If this is not too personal. 

               First, in most cases, this would be considered a personal question. But I'm still going to answer it. The correct term to use is "chosen for adoption" or the birth mother "made an adoption plan" or "chose adoption". This is the more positive terms used now for adoption. (We learned this several years ago when we went for a class with an agency, pre-Mary). 

               When it comes to Chinese waiting children, most are people say "abandoned". I hate that word. Want to know why? According to the definition, it means "careless disregard for consequences". I don't think that's what happens at all. These moms know fully well what they are doing. And I DO NOT mean that in a bad way. What they are doing is giving their child a chance at life. See, the average income over there is about $500 and there is no help for medical expenses. You also pay for all medical procedures up front. If you can't afford it,  you don't receive treatment. End of story. So when a child is born with an obvious disability or birth defect, most have no way to treat this for the child to live. So they will strategically leave the children where they will be found: police stations, hospitals, orphanage steps, fire stations. The moms know that by doing this, they are giving their children a chance at life. They will be found and given treatment. 

                  I'm sure there are more reasons why a mother chooses this for her child, just like here in the US. Our job is not to judge. Our job is to pray for them and ask for peace for them.

So I hope that helped answer some of your questions. If you have more, you know where to find us!